It's been a busy couple of weeks...not a lot to say, with everything to say at the same time. First things first...
I have a job (for at least five weeks)! I am hoping that this position will extend past the five weeks, but i'm deciding to just take things one day at a time for now. I'll be working with CAP (Christian Appalachian Project), assisting with grant writing, research, things of that nature. This will be completely new for me, so I'm terrified and excited at the same time. Since my first mission trips several years back with Sonservants, I've actually thought about the possibility of going into "rural ministry," but didn't like the thought of being isolated. So I'm excited about the potential to serve those living in these types of communities, and finding creative ways to help them. PLUS, I am learning a new skill and i will be challenged in my daily work. I haven't really been challenged in my day to day "work" since I graduated from Asbury, so I am looking forward to this. I am really hoping for the chance to be creative in empowering and serving the needs of those that CAP works for. For the past couple of months I have been working a couple of part-time jobs (babysitting and working with an assisted living facility). I've enjoyed those relationships, but thankful to have something slightly more engaging. If you think about it, please pray for this-I would really like for this to extend past this initial five week contract.
In other news, my small group (we call ourselves a "priory") has decided to grow a garden together. I know next to nothing about gardening, but it always seems like a good idea to me... I've just never had the time, motivation, or know-how to tackle such a thing. Luckily other people are taking this on, and i'll be there to help... I'm excited about the thought of growing vegetables together, and having a shared project. I think that's how people grow together best, and I'm glad to get to be a part of this.
And speaking of my priory... I'm so thankful for the folks I've found at St. Patrick's. I am living with a family from the church, and have been incredredibly blessed by the friendships there. I've longed for ways to figure out intentional community for a long time, and I feel like I'm starting to see some of this played out. It's far from perfect, but I am so glad to be around like-minded people who possess both passion and boundaries. This is a good time in life-still healing from a somewhat tumultuous summer and fall, and feeling held by God and the people around me.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Happy Lent
As of yesterday, we entered into the season of Lent, the 40 days that lead up to Easter Sunday. There have been some years where I've been really conscientious about observing Lent, and others where it has slipped by me. Since I'm now at an Anglican church, I think that it would be near impossible for this to slip by me, and I see that as a good thing. Yesterday was Ash Wednesday, and was also the first day I prayed this prayer out of the prayer book:
Almighty and everlasting God,
you hate nothing that you have made
and forgive the sins of all those who are penitent:
create and make in us new and contrite hearts
that we, worthily lamenting our sins
and acknowledging our wretchedness,
may receive from you, the God of all mercy,
perfect remission and forgiveness;
through Jesus Christ our Lord.
I have now prayed this prayer a few times, and I find it moving, beautiful and piercing. I think Lent can be scary- we are called to remember that we are "but dust, and to dust we shall return." We're also called to take an inventory of our lives, to be penitent, contrite, repentent. We're called to remember our frailty as humans...hmm. Not always an upper. Understanding what it means to have a "contrite heart" is sometimes confusing, and it can easily be mistaken with self-loathing. However, I'm reminded through the words of this prayer that "God hates nothing He has made." We are called to be penitent and repentent not because God wants us to be sad, but in order to be closer to God and to become more like Him. We are called to let go of our sins so that we can more easily understand the fullness of God's love. When we hold on to sins, vices, and idols, we are blinded and kept from understanding the full, majestic, all-encompassing nature of God's love for us. As a parent keeps a child from making bad decisions and ushering the child into healthy behaviors, how much more does God do that for us? As we embrace lenten practices, may we understand how giving the things of this world up draw us closer to the Father's heart.
Almighty and everlasting God,
you hate nothing that you have made
and forgive the sins of all those who are penitent:
create and make in us new and contrite hearts
that we, worthily lamenting our sins
and acknowledging our wretchedness,
may receive from you, the God of all mercy,
perfect remission and forgiveness;
through Jesus Christ our Lord.
I have now prayed this prayer a few times, and I find it moving, beautiful and piercing. I think Lent can be scary- we are called to remember that we are "but dust, and to dust we shall return." We're also called to take an inventory of our lives, to be penitent, contrite, repentent. We're called to remember our frailty as humans...hmm. Not always an upper. Understanding what it means to have a "contrite heart" is sometimes confusing, and it can easily be mistaken with self-loathing. However, I'm reminded through the words of this prayer that "God hates nothing He has made." We are called to be penitent and repentent not because God wants us to be sad, but in order to be closer to God and to become more like Him. We are called to let go of our sins so that we can more easily understand the fullness of God's love. When we hold on to sins, vices, and idols, we are blinded and kept from understanding the full, majestic, all-encompassing nature of God's love for us. As a parent keeps a child from making bad decisions and ushering the child into healthy behaviors, how much more does God do that for us? As we embrace lenten practices, may we understand how giving the things of this world up draw us closer to the Father's heart.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Ice and Hospitality
What a crazy week this has been! Here in the bluegrass we've been hit with an icestorm and the majority of folks I know are without power (yours truly included). So for the past two days my friend Jeana has been gracious to let me hang out with her. When I take a look outside, it's absolutely beautiful...the way the white light catches on the bare trees-it's peaceful, serene. but with that peace comes headaches... no power, no heat, the hour it took me to scrape off my car, the multiple times i've gotten stuck. hmm. but it is really quite beautiful.
Yesterday, while a bit frustrating, was a really great day. I had two different people call me to see if I was OK within about 10 minutes of each other. At first I was determined to stay in my house...i thought for sure it wouldn't be that bad. However, after a little coercing I realized I should take these folks up on their offers. It was beautiful to me yesterday to see these folks from my church community all calling to check on one another. Such a simple act. But I felt loved. Cared for. And yesterday and last night turned out to be a really fun night... Jeana cooked lunch AND dinner for me, we watched a chic flick, Hannah brought us dessert, Raven and Donnie stopped in to say hi, and then we played bananagrams. Definitely not a bad way to spend a cold night!
Ironically, as I have found myself on the receiving end of some very loving hospitality this week, I have been reading a book on the very subject. It is written from the benedictine view of what Christian hospitality is meant to look like, and it is a very, very good read.
A quote from the introduction: "By accepting someone, we do what seems to be a small, ordinary thing. A single act would seem to be small anyway, but little acts of giving, one upon another, pile up to create a huge force capable of repelling darkness and transforming the world. A friendly conversation with a stranger at a bus stop can be the embodiment of hospitality. When we accept a human being, we are fostering the kind of hospitality that will change everything. When we build a life of acceptance, we build a new kind of kingdom among us." (-Radical Hospitality, Daniel Homan and Lonni Collins Pratt)
Being genuinely kind to others and making space for them is what hospitality is about. Seeking to see the presence of God in those who interact in our lives is the essence of this word. When we find ways to reach out, we offer hope. By engaging in true, Christian, Spirit-filled hospitality, we remind each other what Jesus looks like. As Homan and Pratt shared, when we seek to make space for others in our lives, we aren't just being nice, but we are seeking to repel the darkness of this world.
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
Advent
I love advent. I normally get somewhat annoyed with typical Christmas-type things- feeling the pressure of finding gifts for those I love, way too many people at stores and in parking lots, feeling busy when I would like quiet. But when I do give myself the permission to really focus on Advent...wow, what a beautiful picture.
I love that the season of Advent reminds us to stop. wait. listen. prepare. anticipate. We wait with longing hearts for the Savior, and we remember what it means that Christ has come. In the darkness of this world, of our personal lives, and even our own hearts, we remember that One has come to pierce the darkness with the brightest light possible. It is in waiting, in being quiet, that we understand ourselves, our need for Christ, and what it is that God has done for His people.
I think that Advent might be particularly significant for me this year, as I've been in a season of waiting for a few months. For multiple reasons, my life has been a rollercoaster for a while now. I graduated from Asbury and am still looking for a job. My season of being in school is over and I'm still trying to answer that "what's next" question. I don't know the answer. Other things in my life changed earlier this fall (in ways that I did not expect, but the change was necessary), and I am still processing through a lot of it. There are many ways in which I tend to be a perfectionist, and I've put pressure on myself to have it all figured out.
As I've entered into Advent, I've realized that it is ok to wait. It is ok to not have life figured out, and it is ok to not always be happy. It is ok to need other people and to need God. In fact, it's necessary as a Christian disciple to need others and God.
So I wait in joyful anticipation, in more ways that one.
I love that the season of Advent reminds us to stop. wait. listen. prepare. anticipate. We wait with longing hearts for the Savior, and we remember what it means that Christ has come. In the darkness of this world, of our personal lives, and even our own hearts, we remember that One has come to pierce the darkness with the brightest light possible. It is in waiting, in being quiet, that we understand ourselves, our need for Christ, and what it is that God has done for His people.
I think that Advent might be particularly significant for me this year, as I've been in a season of waiting for a few months. For multiple reasons, my life has been a rollercoaster for a while now. I graduated from Asbury and am still looking for a job. My season of being in school is over and I'm still trying to answer that "what's next" question. I don't know the answer. Other things in my life changed earlier this fall (in ways that I did not expect, but the change was necessary), and I am still processing through a lot of it. There are many ways in which I tend to be a perfectionist, and I've put pressure on myself to have it all figured out.
As I've entered into Advent, I've realized that it is ok to wait. It is ok to not have life figured out, and it is ok to not always be happy. It is ok to need other people and to need God. In fact, it's necessary as a Christian disciple to need others and God.
So I wait in joyful anticipation, in more ways that one.
Sunday, November 02, 2008
What's The Problem?
My friend Erin and I have been throwing around the idea of starting a non profit for the past year or so. We want to start said non profit to help impact the lives of middle school and high school girls who struggle with self esteem. We're nowhere near being able to launch anything, but we're trying to research the situation. And from my own experience (both with my own personal story, with the stories of my female friends, women I run across, and young girls I happen to know currently), low self esteem is crippling. At times it certainly has been true in my own life.
As Erin and I have talked about what we feel called to do, we've started asking the question, "So what's the problem?" What's the REAL problem here? Is it that young women aren't empowered or don't have enough role models? Is it that most grown women still aren't able to walk with healthy amounts of self esteem? Is it pressure from society to just be too many things? Is it that we have an inability to truly believe that the God of the universe loves us and believes in us? I certainly have my thoughts, but they're still jumbled. I just know that I hate how I sometimes see myself, and the struggles I see most girls and women battling in this area.
And what is it that self-esteem does to us? I believe that it cripples us, and it keeps us from being the best versions of ourselves. It keeps us from being who God truly desires us to be. God is not honored when we deprecate His creation...whether that be a towering redwood, a brilliant flower, the elderly woman next door, or myself. By honoring God's creation...ALL of His creation, I am able to praise the God who so lovingly created me.
I often wonder if part of the problem is in really, really messed up standards. I have been reading through the book of 1 John recently, and today's passage hit me hard, especially as I think about how I often enter into the practice of self-loathing:
"Stop loving this evil world and all that it offers you, for when you love the world, you show that do not have the love of the Father in you. For the world offers only the lust for physical pleasure, the lust for everything we see, and pride in our possessions. These are not from the Father. They are from this evil world. And this world is fading away, along with everything it craves. But if you do the will of God, you will live forever." (1 John 1: 15-17)
The standards we see on TV, in the media, from peers shares a standard that tells individuals that in order to be loved and accepted we must look a certain way, have a specific body type, and present a certain image of ourselves. I have been reminded all day of the power of refusing to give in to this... to seek the things of God's Kingdom, and not of this world. As I think about how to respond to my own areas of feeling insufficient, and in turn, of how to best love others struggling with honoring the beauty of their own creation, I am reminded that God has standards, beauty, and desires that are completely contrary to what this fallen world offers.
So often the "easy" thing is to find our identity in the people around us, our immediate community, or the culture at large. Those things tell us right away if we are beautiful or not, if we are right or wrong, if what we present is acceptable. However, this passage tells us that we simply cannot trust the things of this world (even if that might be the easy thing to do). We are called, instead, to identify with God and His values... very different from what the culture around us has to offer.
As Erin and I have talked about what we feel called to do, we've started asking the question, "So what's the problem?" What's the REAL problem here? Is it that young women aren't empowered or don't have enough role models? Is it that most grown women still aren't able to walk with healthy amounts of self esteem? Is it pressure from society to just be too many things? Is it that we have an inability to truly believe that the God of the universe loves us and believes in us? I certainly have my thoughts, but they're still jumbled. I just know that I hate how I sometimes see myself, and the struggles I see most girls and women battling in this area.
And what is it that self-esteem does to us? I believe that it cripples us, and it keeps us from being the best versions of ourselves. It keeps us from being who God truly desires us to be. God is not honored when we deprecate His creation...whether that be a towering redwood, a brilliant flower, the elderly woman next door, or myself. By honoring God's creation...ALL of His creation, I am able to praise the God who so lovingly created me.
I often wonder if part of the problem is in really, really messed up standards. I have been reading through the book of 1 John recently, and today's passage hit me hard, especially as I think about how I often enter into the practice of self-loathing:
"Stop loving this evil world and all that it offers you, for when you love the world, you show that do not have the love of the Father in you. For the world offers only the lust for physical pleasure, the lust for everything we see, and pride in our possessions. These are not from the Father. They are from this evil world. And this world is fading away, along with everything it craves. But if you do the will of God, you will live forever." (1 John 1: 15-17)
The standards we see on TV, in the media, from peers shares a standard that tells individuals that in order to be loved and accepted we must look a certain way, have a specific body type, and present a certain image of ourselves. I have been reminded all day of the power of refusing to give in to this... to seek the things of God's Kingdom, and not of this world. As I think about how to respond to my own areas of feeling insufficient, and in turn, of how to best love others struggling with honoring the beauty of their own creation, I am reminded that God has standards, beauty, and desires that are completely contrary to what this fallen world offers.
So often the "easy" thing is to find our identity in the people around us, our immediate community, or the culture at large. Those things tell us right away if we are beautiful or not, if we are right or wrong, if what we present is acceptable. However, this passage tells us that we simply cannot trust the things of this world (even if that might be the easy thing to do). We are called, instead, to identify with God and His values... very different from what the culture around us has to offer.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Roots and New Directions
Over the course of the past few weeks, I have started attending a new church. This particular faith community is an anglican church, and I've found that I like it a lot. After the first week, I wasn't sure if i'd come back. But then I did return, and now I'm excited to return today. My initial hesitations were multiple, but one was because it is, in fact, anglican. As someone who grew up in a very small Episcopalian church and experienced the ritual of liturgy every Sunday of my life for 18+ years, I never expected to willingly return to this setting. My formative years weren't bad, just devoid of understanding the transforming power of Jesus Christ. I was loved by many surrogate grandparents, but left without an understanding of why it was so important that we did what we did.
And now, here I am. Sitting among a small, anglican worship gathering repeating the same exact liturgy that I did as my 8-year old self. Part of me wants to run far, but most of me feels like something is getting connected. The dots in my 12-year old brain are suddenly connecting to the passions of my 30-year old persona. It's a bit like coming home in a way, but in a new, "ahh, i get it now" kind of way. In a fuller, more complete way.
And now, here I am. Sitting among a small, anglican worship gathering repeating the same exact liturgy that I did as my 8-year old self. Part of me wants to run far, but most of me feels like something is getting connected. The dots in my 12-year old brain are suddenly connecting to the passions of my 30-year old persona. It's a bit like coming home in a way, but in a new, "ahh, i get it now" kind of way. In a fuller, more complete way.
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
I'm an Aunt!
Just wanted to say congrats to my brother and sister-in-law... their son (and my nephew!) is now here among us! He was born yesterday (August 5th) at 7:53 p.m. Apparently a long labor, but everyone is healthy. To my nephew, your Aunt Maggie is very excited to meet you! And to Randall and Melissa... congratulations!
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